Garrett’s bike catastrophically broke just 70 miles short of Durango. So the good news is that’s he’s home and we’re BFF’s again. Bad news is that his bike inexplicably broke badly.

To open this blog post, I will borrow one of my favorite expressions oft used by our president,

MY FELLOW AMERICANS…

I’ve received news from Xenia our warrior princess (code name: Garrett) and things are vastly improving along their trans-Colorado challenge! Let’s cut straight to the chase.

Departure date: Wednesday September 17, 2008 (six days ago yesterday, which is when we spoke)
Miles completed: roughly 310
Miles remaining: roughly 290
Current location: Some town in Colorado, of which I forget the name. 
Amazingly picturesque views: This is a tough question to answer because according to our fellow American Garrett basically everywhere he looks throughout this trip is amazingly picturesque. So is the answer infinity? No. You see, I think this comes down to simple mathematics: say the eye moves X times per day during one’s waking hours. So the maximum number of amazingly picturesque views is simply X. Hooray Algebra!
Mishaps: Everything that went poorly before has been reversed.
-they’ve dried their sleeping bags from the relentless rain
-the replaced their faulty stove
-Garrett is overcoming his cold

-I did however learn that Frank’s rack somehow stopped working properly, but with some MacGyver-like resourcefulness, they’ve alieviated the problem. Same with his derailleur and Garrett’s brakes, which were both working poorly.
-I also learned that they’re finding it hard to climb consistently at 12,000′ with heavy bikes. But they’re loving it all the same. 

Wheelies: dammit, I forgot to ask him. So the answer is unknown but I’d still put my money on none.

And to end on a positive note here is a picture of MacGyver. And the Red Sox earned a spot in the playoffs last night. The Yankees did not. Ha.

Say it with me… “Pheeeewwww.” That’s right my friends and loyal readers, Garrett checked in with a phone call tonight. In standard Garrett-checking-in-on-Teddy’s-Blog format, I will do a bulletpoint update:

Departure date: Wednesday September 17, 2008 (four days ago)
Miles completed: roughly 200
Miles remaining: roughly 400
Current location: Frisco, CO
Amazingly picturesque views: still unknown. I’m guessing somewhere in the ballpark of 50.
Mishaps: in full character building form, there have been a handful of (minor?) mishaps:
-I asked how his rad new titanium coffee mug is working out and Garrett enlightened me that their travel cooking stove is apparently not working for reasons unknown to me. They’re replacing their stove in Frisco.
-it’s raining… a lot. One night they apparently stayed in their bivvy sacks for 12 hours soaking wet.
-word on the street, er… trail is that Garrett has a bit of a cold. I think he’s had it since the second Tour of Missouri ended, but he has a beard so he’s tough and is fighting it valiantly.

Wheelies: unknown… but probably still none as well. 

Stay tuned for more updates.

I went to a Colorado Rapids soccer game tonight against the New England Revolution, which is when Garrett called. Soccer games are a hoot, because what the fans lack in numbers they make up for in fervor and ridiculousness. Plus it’s the most eclectic group of fans you’ll ever find at a professional sporting event. I can’t really explain it, so go to a soccer game and witness it yourself.

Then I came home.

Then I made smores in the microwave. Before:

After:

Then I sat down a blogged this. What’s that you say? Why am I boring and blogging about smores? That’s right: the season’s over.

After two consecutive posts about yours truly in Garrett’s blog, it’s time to return the favor with my second consecutive post about Garrett in my blog. Most notably, as mentioned in his most recent post, I will be updating you on behalf of Garrett during his trans-Colorado-Rockies adventure. He will contact me every now and again and I will publish his exciting adventures.

As a reminder, now that the domestic road season is over Garrett and Frank Pipp are riding their mountain bikes from Denver to Durango. Crazy? Somewhat. My favorite aspect of the trip is that they expect to do the 535 miles in about 7-10 days… but if you check the Trail’s website, you see that they recommend allowing 15-20 days to complete the trek. I suppose they are assuming that the title of “professional” on the road side of their cycling careers makes the leap to mountain biking as well, and therefore they can double the speed and distance of the average mountain biker making the 535 mile trip. Probably a decent guess; time will tell.

Let’s get right down to business.
Departure date: Wednesday September 17, 2008 (yesterday)
Miles completed: unknown
Miles remaining: unknown
Current location: unknown
Amazingly picturesque views: unknown
Mishaps: unknown… but hopefully none
Wheelies: unknown… but probably none because Garrett’s bike seemed to have a 90:10 ratio of front weight-to-rear weight. It reminded me of what would happen if you equipped a plow suitable for a semi onto a Ford Ranger. Here’s a picture from his blog; as a frame of reference, the rear has merely a sleeping bag and pad, which are both super light. Unlike the bow of this ship which is anything but light.

Hmmm, what else can I tell you…? It’s sad that Garrett is gone. He and I have been hanging out seemingly nonstop for the past month and a half since Tour of Utah, but now he’s camping the C.T. and not hanging out with me in Boulder for the next two weeks. Hopefully I survive and don’t become a hermit.

In completely unrelated news, Garrett and I decided to stay in tune with the goings-on in Boulder and subscribed to the Boulder Daily Camera newspaper. Without any foresight whatsoever, we began the subscription the day before we left Boulder for 10 days to attend the Tour of Missouri. Good thing we have a friendly neighbor who picked up and read the paper daily while we were gone. Strangely the paper has stopped arriving after about 5 days of delivery. I’ve spoken with the circulation department at said newspaper and they don’t know why it’s stopped being delivered. I think someone is stealing it immediately upon arrival at 5am, so I’m thinking of camping out with my nunchucks and bow-staff so I can TMNT the culprit. I’ll let you know how my nunchucking unfolds.

…Good! Facts are overrated and boring and lead people down the wrong path. To truth, for example.

I read a laughable little blurb in yesterday’s USA Today about protesters who have been living in a tree on a college campus - I think in Berkeley, CA - to prevent the construction of an athletic complex. They made news because they just came down from the tree two days ago. The kicker? They’ve been in the tree for 21 months! I was floored! Can you imagine putting your life on hold for nearly 2 years?! Where were you 21 months ago? It was the winter of aught-six for a frame of reference.

I’m new to this mobile blogging but if all goes to plan then there should be a picture of my perma-roommate and adventureist extraordinaire, Garrett, as we travel to stage 4 of Tour of Missouri. I recently moved into his abode (with all due respect, owned by Ann) in Boulder which is rad. He’s prepping for the off season by growing a ferocious beard. I think the plan is to ward off any predators that he and Frank might run into on their trans-Colorado mountain bike ride that begins three days after Missouri. Bears for example. Or ferretts.

Bu’bye now.