…Or perhaps they’re more observations than stories, per se.  Anyway here they are:

One, I’m again in the surprisingly sleek and modern Detroit Airport as I am returning to Asheville, NC. I walked passed the airport McDonalds and was flabbergast to see how busy it was. The front row of emplyees - that is, not including those hard workers hidden behind the industrial strength microwaves - totalled 13. More impressive were the 38 people in line waiting to order. Thirty eight! Wowoweewow.

Two, I’m at my gate where there’s a nice enormous flat screen TV to keep the waiting hoards entertained. CNN just reported a story about a 5.4 magnitude earthquake that hit California two days ago. I’m no geologist nor seismologist, but 5.4 sounds destructive. So what is the headline CNN reports? I quote, “EARTHQUAKE CAUSES POOL WATER TO SLOSH”.

Now that’s newsworthy! Apparently some nose-to-the-grindstone investigative reporter had his or her camera conveniently by the swimming pool to report this earthshattering story. Thankfully there was footage to prove this wasn’t some sort of hoax. You heard it here people, the water sloshed!

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According to Consumer Reports, ”The average American is exposed to 247 commercial messages each day.” That seems like a low-ball estimate because I’m quite sure that the average Tour de France viewer on Versus is exposed to at least 247 commercials every hour. However, the point is made that we see a lot of advertisements.

MORE to the point, I hope you’ve all seen the Nivea body wash for men commercial, because I laugh out loud every time I see it. It pokes fun at Axe and Old Spice ads which suggest you’ll score with the ladies if you smell good. In particular there’s one little Asian kid who takes a whiff of Nivea and claims, “This will not increase my ability to mate!”

Bwaaa ha ha ha! “Mate” that’s classic. Go watch the Tour and you’ll see what I mean.

Makes me want to go drink some Bacardi Mojito, because Lord knows it’ll increase my ability to go clubbing.

Geezum crow I’ve been busy lately! To bring you up to the absolute present, and then we’ll backtrack a bit, I went on a bike ride today with forecasted 30% chance of showers. I returned home wetter than… well, wetter than something really wet, because I was 100% soaked through at the end of my ride. I guess I’ve been lucky to have a lot of dry training days lately, because this seemed novel to be riding in the rain.

So I’m still on my “vacation” to New England. After finishing 3rd at Fitchburg, I had a swing to the opposite side of the continent where I raced the Cascade Cycling Classic. The team was riding awesomely all week with Tom in 2nd place - or 1st place among those people in the race who haven’t been on the Tour de France podium (and that list isn’t exclusive to Levi. Name the other cyclist!) - but then we stumbled upon a 483 mile climb basically to the top of the world, which took us down a few places in GC. Despite that, Tom really impressed me with his rapid and mighty recovery from being wrecked out of Gila. Well done Z. I managed to pull out a respectable 3rd on the final stage, which basically made up for me being mostly off the radar the rest of the tour.

Back-to-back stage races can only mean one thing: time off!

I flew all day Monday after Cascade, arrived home around midnight, stayed up a few more hours since I was still on west coast time, then slept for 4.5 hours before heading downeast to Maine with Robbie. I can’t name the exact location, because you will all be instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano thereby ruining my pristine spot, but suffice it to say:

a) it’s possibly the best place ever
b) it’s in Maine.

It’s not a true vacation unless you eat like a glutton, so we began our 48 hour trip with the fried shrimp basket at the Sea Basket. Delicious? Yes. Enormous? Indeed. I snapped this shot as Robbie was letting out a hearty, “Ahhhhhoy!” …with fried haddock in his mouth.

We accomplished everything we set out to do in our brief time off, including: eating, sleeping, swimming, seeing friends and family, eating, doing nothing at all, and eating lobster. Coming from a seasoned pro, trust me that those are the requisite To-Do items if you ever venture to Maine. Sailing is optional, but still quite enjoyable.

Here are two pictures from our hidden gem of a vacation spot

Back to reality (ha), I got home late Thursday night in time to sleep a few hours before heading out to a rehearsal and dinner for my best friend’s wedding the following day. Matthew and Heather are awesome, I’ve been friends with him for eons and Heather for half that time, and the entire weekend was just plain perfect. Oh, the only slight exception was when I nearly ruined it all by almost having to back out because I was freaking out.

Quick elaboration: it’s frigging ROASTING leading up to the ceremony, and we groomsmen are busy ushing people down the aisle. The forecast is for 94 and humidity up the wazoo, but at 10:30am it’s already at least that hot, so with my 3 piece suit I’m sweating more than I ever have in my life. Collectively in 25 years, that is. On top of that, I have a reading to perform at the wedding. I’ve done another reading in another wedding and I nailed that one, so I figure no sweat. Wrong. I suppose it dawned on me that since I literally know 95% of the people in the now packed church, it’s time to get nervous. So the combo of nerves and heat cause me to see literally stars, nearly pass out about 4 times, and do that little barf in your mouth thing. Foul.

Strangely after chugging 2 bottles of water 5 minutes before we hit the stage, I was completely back to normal! I especially got a kick out of the other four groomsmen sweating bullets on stage, while I was cool as a cucumber. That’s composure baby!

Anyway, the wedding was a blast and I had the distinct priviledge of bridesmaids on either side of me.

Lastly, I thought the happy couple’s choice of wedding shades was also noteworthy.

So my vacation ends shortly. I’m trying to tie up loose ends in NH, be helpful to my folks, head to VT for a few days of seeing Mayo and her folks, then I head back to Asheville and back to reality (again, ha).

http://exit17.net/wp/?p=549

The Fitchburg Longsjo Classic just completed it’s 49th annual running of the race. My my, that’s an impressive stat, considering a race like last year’s US Open failed after just one year… WITH the backing of mega news giant NBC.

The race itself went well for me with some awesome support from the Bissell crew; I finished 3rd overall and netted three top 10s in four days of racing.

One of the week’s highlights (besides Garrett’s most recent Gallon Challenge blog) are Ryan Kelly’s pictures. His site, www.exit17.net, is generally hilarious, and the website listed at the top of this particular post is thoroughly entertaining. So basically this post of mine is a plagerism of Ryan’s, saying his site is funny and has good pictures. And I don’t know how to spell plagerism… especially don’t know how to spell it on an iphone.

K bye.

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At Fitchburg, when it rains it pours. Literally. At least that holds true for the opening stage of the 49th annual Fitchburg Longsjo Classic. The day started out with picture perfect weather and maintained the better side of average for much of the day. But then around 5:38:45pm, which just happened to be 15 seconds from my start time, the sky opened up and there was a deluge. Crud.

The time trial course here this year is the same as last year. In one word, it’s HORRENDOUS. (Other equally descriptive adjectives include: decrepit, dilapidated, decaying, and stupid.) Basically to describe it to the uniformed, they’ve created a 6.5 mile mostly uphill TT on roads that are most suitable for an ATV, or perhaps a snow-cat in the winter. This is all extremely exacerbated when the rain accumulates into rivers on the roads so you can’t see Volkswagen-sized manholes. Absurd.

In other news, most major news outlets have already broken the news that Garrett was involved in a crash at my hometown Exeter Criterium. Not his fault though, which is important to point out, because some dude slid out in front of him leaving Garrett no where to go besides directly onto the curb.

We’re now staying at the Fitchburg State College dorms. I don’t know why I haven’t done this in the past because the set up is quite primo. We have a delicious meal plan taken care of, we’re a stone’s throw from the circuit race, a farther stone’s throw from the time trial, and air conditioning. Is there anything else?

Two things to note in the above picture:

a) Garrett is laughing while the picture was snapped so he’s nursing his nearly-broken collarbone by holding it down. Poor lad.

b) Scott is reading the current issue of ROAD. I’m featured in the 20 questions opposed to my teammate Zirbel.